It Starts With Love
Beginning The Journey Inside
We all begin our journey for meaning, purpose, and support by looking around us and outside of us. “What will make me happy?” we say. This is where we first go wrong. All we need starts within ourselves, we just need to open ourselves up to it. What you’ll find is the greatest gift you can ever imagine receiving, think that gift you always dreamed of receiving for your birthday–now this gift will be multiplied by that by about a million. We are one beautifully wrapped present just waiting to be opened. But sometimes we neglect this present, we keep it wrapped up our whole lives. It is the greatest gift but can also be the most neglected gift, one we don’t even bother to open up and see what’s inside. If you don’t uncover your true self, not your self-projected self or the perceived-by-others self but your true self that is at the core of your being then how are you ever going to find that happiness and meaning that we all long for in this world?
Starting with Love
Getting to the Source
In order to love we must work from the inside out. Love can never be unconditional and everlasting if we cannot first find the love we have in ourselves. Who do you know better than yourself? And who knows you better than you? Therefore, love for you to give must first be found within. Deep inside us all there is something to love.
Removing the Barriers
We were all made with our own unique gifts and abilities in mind. Where I may lack you may excel, and where I may excel you may lack. But comparing ourselves to others we sometimes lose sight of all the good in ourselves and instead focus on the weaknesses we have that our not congruent with what others may have that is more beneficial or “trending” at any one given time. I for one have struggled constantly looking at others strengths and comparing myself to be just satisfactory or even subpar to them. It is endowed in our society to have this comparative mindset. From a young age we’re graded on our school work, we’re graded by our stats in the sports we play, and we are judged by how well liked we are by these same people who are doing well in any variety of the things we find ourselves competing in. This continues well into adulthood as we start comparing job performance with our co-workers, salary with our friends, and the toys and gadgets we collect with the rest of the neighborhood. In all of this we lose sight of what is truly important. We go outside of ourselves looking for these things that we may or may not be meant to have, and in doing so we lose the very treasure within ourselves that constitutes everything we are. If we continue living in a competition, we will never be able to love ourselves so deeply that we can begin to love one another and their uniqueness no matter where that person is in their life and how they ‘stack up’ against the rest of the world.
What is love
Now I don’t need to recite the famous Corinthians Bible verse we’ve all heard at our uncle or long lost cousin’s wedding, “love is patient, love is enduring…” but what I will offer is a very simple idea of love that I use. Love is unconditional. You can spin this a hundred ways to be more and more complex but bare-bones love is loving unconditionally. This is the perfect love. It is seeing the gifts before the limitations. It is being constant and immediate rather than occasional and based on the situation. It is enduring and it endures all forces and pressures from the outside world. Love is perfected in ourselves and is blossomed in the light as we share it with others and the rest of the world around us.
Inside Love
Take a body check.
Be honest with yourself. What is really causing you to be searching outside of yourself for the happiness and love you desire? By contemplating on this you may uncover some past hurt or neglect, and that is just fine. The goal here is to find these things that we have buried so far within ourselves and bring them into the light. Whether we ignore them or embrace them, these things are a part of our being. They are probably persuading our movements one way or another. So instead of continuing to turn the blind eye and pushing them farther and farther inside of us, bring them up and really focus on what is the root of this problem or pain we have within ourselves. I’ll tell you right now, it probably has a lot to do with love. When we love ourselves under conditions, we pick and choose among the ‘selfs’ we have and we love in that moment what ‘fits’ the situation and we burrow away all the rest including our true self which incorporates all that we are both the gifts and the limitations.
Turning Love Inside Out
If we can begin to love ourselves unconditionally we will see the world in a new light. Smiles will fill our eyes instead of frowns, majestic green trees instead of car smog, and joy and laughter instead of street noise and clutter. When we love ourselves we look for love in others and in the rest of the world. As we begin to focus on this we begin to see just how easy this is. With a loving eye the world seems much more pleasing than it once did. We’ll search for the good in our worst enemies and all the others who wrong us throughout the day. Rather than ruminating on these negatives we will search for and find the positives in all that we encounter in our day. The more we experience the easier we will find it to uncover the gifts in these people and these situations that would have normally ruined our day. There is good in everyone and everything. If we start with love we will find love all around us. From your cat or dog, to your neighbor, to your boss, to your grocery store bagger, all of us have love within us. Find yours and you will begin to see it in others as well, and trust me it is a beautiful thing!
Want to dive deeper into how you can begin to cultivate this love for yourself and others and start to see the world in this new light. Subscribe to our blog and continue to uncover yourself with the Inside Out Point of View.