Optimism and Despair
Two Extremes to Hoping
There are two ways to thinking which a majority of people hold to, there are those with the extreme optimism point of view who may never see wrong and those others who fail to see any hope at all and live expecting despair at the turn of every corner. Given the stark contrast between these two it should not be hard to determine which one of these sides you fall into. The question however is which view is better to take in life. Is it the, “it will all work out” or the, “life is rough and so I’ll stay out of its way and be thankful for what I get”. Let’s consider each.
Optimism
We’re all familiar with the extreme optimist. Somehow no matter what the odds are everything will fall into place even with little to no effort at all. Trials in life will always be fine. Taking a chance will always pay off and risks are never as bad as they claim they’ll be. This is the optimist, unshakeable in life until his flimsy house of belief falls down. This is the view that what you put out comes back to you as long as you keep believing in it. This is ‘dream boards’ and making your wildest dreams to be by only your belief in them alone.
To have hope is a beautiful thing, to believe in false hope is a treacherous snare. It is an easy fix to its alternative of finding and holding to a real solution, one that might actually cause us some discomfort and make us work for it.
Despair
As the optimist screams out optimism from the roof tops the one who chooses despair hides from beneath the cellar. They are the ones that stay unnoticed less they get trampled upon underfoot. This is the outcome to putting your neck out, letting it be wrenched back. No good has ever come from someone taking a chance, the world is a harsh place and it never forgives mistakes or awards second chances so you better not screw up. Even if you do find some favor you better be careful so as to not get carried away as it will find a way of bringing you back down. Trials are catastrophes. They can leave us ruined if we don’t agonize and dwell on them long enough. Everything must be carefully plotted out and planned for the one who awaits despair. Usually, so much so, that the plotting never stops as new opportunities to despair will keep on popping up and so too their need to be considered before ever moving on.
It is easy to see how this is no way to live yet how many of us live like this in one area of life or another? There is good in cautiousness but too much will have you living your own life from the sidelines. If we believe despair is the only outcome, then the sidelines seems a good place for us to be.
Choosing a Side: Optimism or Despair
We’ve discussed the pitfalls and advantages to both of these modes of hope above–now, which do we choose? Depending on your cultural heritage, one of these sides may appear to be more prevalent than the other around you. Living in America there is an overwhelming allure to optimism, sometimes with nothing to warrant it at all. Still, there are certainly scales to both sides and here in America many people will find their home on the opposite camp. In fact, many will oscillate back and forth between these two based on situation and circumstance–this I would point to as being the better option than one or the other extreme.
Finding Middle Ground between optimism and despair
There are parts of life that warrant each of these perspectives. Assuming serous risk should be well thought out as the despairer would naturally do just as hoping for the best in people and everyday interactions leads to a warmer world for the optimist. There is clearly pros and cons to each and it is for this reason that these two options are so evenly split amongst our population. Now if we can disseminate the pros of each and eliminate their cons then we would be optimizing our perspective and having both to utilize as a tool when appropriate . I propose a middle ground solution to doing so. Here are a couple of thoughts to get you started on your journey towards walking the path between these opposing sides.
Finding Beauty in the world
Focus on beauty and good and in this find hope. This can be your source of optimism when facing hidden or unknown events of the world.
Start with optimism until proven wrong
Begin optimistic, but never be afraid to utilize a despair mindset when facing real or apparent danger. Despite your culture’s assertion, it is okay to not be optimistic all the time. This will not make you a Debbie downer or like Pooh’s Eeyore.
Always avoid ‘always thinking’
Avoid the use of “always”. This is usually fuel for the extreme thoughts that lie far on either side. Things ‘always’ work out or if you’re not careful you’ll ‘always’ be made sorry. Remind yourself that there are no ‘always’ to either of these positions. There are continuums and there is no two situations that have ever been completely identical in nature. What has worked for another does not guarantee the same for you just as where another has failed does not mean you will fail likewise. Live anew and do not write the story of your life before you live it. Instead, wait for the biography to come out after you have lived your life to the fullest.
Be Open and Flexible
Be flexible. Try to not lean too much one way or the other based on how life has been going for you. If you received some lucky breaks it could seem wise to you to go over to the casino and put all your money on the roulette wheel since good favors will continue following you. Just the same after a few tough breaks it could seem to warrant playing it safe from here on out. Live each day and each moment as its own. What was yesterday does not dictate today. There is no unescapable bad or good luck. We all experience some of each in our life. It is those who expect one that shortchange themselves. Gamblers that play on lucky streaks or losing streaks are less effective in their aim then those who play each hand as its own–the number of the cards and their assortment does not change based on your unique factors going in.
Utilizing a Despair mindset in prudence
Plan major life steps by drawing to mind any probable despair that could occur in any of its possible choices. Once a decision is made and a direction is pointed, keep these in mind but put on optimism to propel you forward and encourage you on the journey ahead. The key here is to NOT remain in a negative state of mind going through with your journey.
Putting Optimism and despair in their rightful place
A final piece of encouragement as a general rule of thumb, a fear base can be a great motivator to get things going. If all things will work out, then there’s little motivation in proper action that will set you up for longterm success by planning for possible setbacks and challenges. Pair this realistic motivation with an optimistic outlook and you are getting the best to both of these worlds. Play on both, never get stuck, and work hard to keep in the middle avoiding the desire to re-assess our side after each new outcome by making a bet based on our current streak. The only thing that should be fixed in your mindset is that both of these have benefit when used appropriately. Use each as a tool for your own good– use them wisely and use them well.